I was working on a post, and then I remembered that I have to install Windows 10 to another computer in fifteen minutes. So I got to run from 9a to 11:30p yesterday and today, and got to have a wreck yesterday. I also get to do it tomorrow, because the client I was leaving when I was hit yesterday wants his computer back tomorrow. And, of course, I need to be there at 9 again.
I’m having a really hard time reconciling all this with the fact that I had to borrow $10 today. Sure, I paid my rent Monday; I also finished off the last of my salad mix today. Is that why I’m doing all this? Is that why I’m not getting a day off? So that I can pay my rent and eat salad? Of course I like salad, but the point is that was all I had.
For so long, I’ve been giving this colleague the benefit of the doubt and haven’t really thought about it, but I’m really starting to think I’m not being compensated anywhere near the degree I should be.
I’m really angry and irritated. The post was actually about random things that irritate me.
What does it matter that I ran from 9a to 11:30pm yesterday before I was even able to work on Dancing in Hellfire? What does it matter that the same thing has happened today? What does it matter that I now need to be somewhere at 9a tomorrow, pretty much ensuring that the same thing happens tomorrow? Pain? What the hell is pain? So what I was in a wreck. I should stop being a baby, that’s what. Only weak, flesh and bone mortals need rest and recovery.
Is this really the best we humans can do? This is the best society we can build? Where none of the shit I just said matters to anyone? Many, many businesspeople think exactly that way. One of the primary reasons I opened my I.T. firm was so that I didn’t have to live in that world, and I’ve found myself forced to do it anyway. Not by the Windows 10 upgrade, not really–that’s minor and easy. It was tedious, and I was tired, but it still wasn’t a big deal.
The bigger issue is that this colleague that asked me to be somewhere at 9 tomorrow… isn’t the type who is supposed to be like that. He’s supposed to operate under ideas pretty similar to mine, and I’m stunned he’d ask me to be somewhere at 9 tomorrow (knowing full well that I don’t go to sleep before 2 am)–
And let me clear that up now. I don’t sleep until 8a because I’m lazy and like sleeping in. A lot of clients sneer when I inform them that there’s no way I’m going to be on-site at 8. They’re like “I arrive at the office at 7:00!” Good for you. And I’m sure you go to bed at 9pm. Well, when you’ve been asleep for five hours, I’m awake and working. What is with that mentality, that people can only be productive during the daytime? I accomplish more from 9p to 2a than most people do during the day.
I’m getting off topic. That happens a lot when I’m tired, and I have a Windows upgrade to go take care of. Then a hard drive to swap. Then a PC to clean up and fix up. Then I can rest for the evening. Before waking up ridiculously early tomorrow and doing it again.
The ultimate irony is that I wouldn’t be dealing with any of this if I had gotten the girl’s insurance info when she hit me. That fucking act of forgiveness and kindness is the seed that planted this mess. If I had gone that route, then no one would dispute my need to rest and recover for a few days. I’d had gone to a doctor and got a prescription for muscle relaxers and pain killers, I’d be high as hell right now (legitimately, I might add), and the idea that I would need to be somewhere in 11 hours would be laughable. But no. I chose instead to just forgive her and let it go.
That was the angle I was intending to take when I called this “Random Acts of Bitching,” because all I can do now is bitch about it. But yeah. If I’d gotten out of that accident, immediately notified the police and insurance companies, and made a great fuss about it, I wouldn’t be dealing with any of this. “Oh, take your time to recover! We can wait until next week!” the liquor store would have said. “Oh, well, take a few more days. I don’t really need that computer back Thursday,” the client off i40 would have said. “Don’t worry about it, man. I’ll be able to go there at 9,” my colleague would have said.
Instead, I was at a client’s at 9 this morning, learning that I can’t even nod without being in pain, and I can barely even speak without it hurting. Then I got to handle two remote issues, and drive out to my sister’s to borrow $10 from her because she damned sure wasn’t going to bring it to me. That’s the ultimate irony of this. If I had milked the wreck, I’d not only be in the process of making a few thousand dollars from it, but I’d be high and on EZ Street for the next week. Instead, it’s “Eh. She’s fine. Let her burn the candle at both ends, who gives a shit. She can rest when she’s dead.”
This is a nice society you people have. Would be a shame if something happened to it.