Saturday, the realization occurred to me that in the past year I’ve been able to make pretty much zero progress in my life here in Mississippi. All I’ve managed to do was tread water, and that took tremendous work, and the prospect of drowning has loomed over me pretty much every minute of every day. I look on envy at the people making Minimum Wage, as the numbers show that I would make more money if I flipped burgers at McDonald’s. So why don’t I do that? Well, there’s the problem exactly!
McDonald’s won’t hire me, because I’m a college graduate and wildly overqualified. In the past year, out of the inestimable job applications I’ve put in, I got only one callback, and that was for a busperson position at a restaurant–and I didn’t get the job.
Because I was overqualified.
The death of my television and my total inability to scrape up the paltry amount of $160 to replace it is an absolute disgrace to myself as a human being. This is why I busted my ass all those years ago, working a full-time job while being a full-time college student, doing homework like a lunatic on my lunch break? Going to sleep when I got home from work at 2:00 in the morning, and then waking up at 6:30 to get ready for class? This is my reward for that labor? To be totally unable to come up with a measly $160 to buy a cheap fucking television? To live on a diet of (literally) ramen noodles and bologna sandwiches–without cheese? Without cheese, for fuck’s sake!
I’m angry. I’m tremendously angry. And I have every right to be angry, because no matter how it’s sliced, this isn’t my fault. Even if I had never gone to Vegas, my situation wouldn’t be much improved to how it is today. No, this is almost completely an extension of how my parents and their drug usage, separation, and irresponsibility stacked the deck so heavily against me. Through my whole life, I’ve fought against those odds, and I’m furious that circumstances have trapped me here. The more I think about it, the angrier I become.
But I’m in a Catch-22 here. I need money to leave Mississippi, and I need to leave Mississippi in order to make money. I am turning to the wider world and asking for assistance in extricating myself from this untenable and wretched situation, where not only am I unable to “get ahead” because there is no “ahead” to get to, but because I am transgender in a state that is not going to simply allow that to happen.
So if there is anything that you can do, from donations to sharing that link, it would be tremendously appreciated. I need $3,500 to safely and securely move out of this hellhole and be able to establish myself elsewhere, and put this miserable existence behind me.
|Gasoline (1700 miles @ 15/gallon @ $2.25/gallon)||$255||Note A|
|Deposit + 3 Months Rent ($545/month)||$2,180||http://www.apartments.com/vibe-apartments-las-vegas-nv/l67j48e/|
|Electricity/Water/Gas Deposits||$200||Perhaps unnecessary, will know when Vibe returns my contact|
|Pet Deposit (Probably) **||$500||Unnecessary at Vibe Apartments–waiting to hear back from them*|
|Food, Miscellaneous Household Items||$150|
|Hotel Expense||$60||Amarillo, TX Super 8|
|Miscellaneous? Drinks, etc., Gas Jug, Water Jugs||$50||Note B|
|Note A: This is slightly high, in fact, by about 10%. The trip to Vegas from where I am in MS is only about 1600 miles, and I get better than|
|15 miles per gallon. “How much better” is a figure that I don’t know, but it’s not considerably better–perhaps 18-19 per gallon. That certainly|
|adds up over time, of course, but it’s always better to err on the side of caution. Plus, the cost of gas varies across the country.|
|Note B: One does not make a drive across the country without a few gallons of water and a 5 gallon jug of gas in the trunk. The last time|
|I made such a drive, there were two occasions when the gas jug came in very handy. While it wasn’t necessary, better safe than sorry.|
|* Given the circumstances, I hope that they are willing to work with me and have a way of me filling out the requisite paperwork from|
|a distance. For obvious reasons, an interview with them is hardly an option. But surely this happens somewhat frequently.|
|** If this proves unnecessary, it would be ideal for me to have my female fixed before making the trip, for $135. My male cat is fixed|
|already, but the female just about stays in heat these days, and she would drive apartment neighbors crazy.|
I am humbly requesting the assistance of anyone and everyone who can provide any help whatsoever.