Stupid Suggestions

Out of all of the negative responses my GoFundMe campaign has gotten, two of them in particular stand out as ridiculously unhelpful and stupid. The first was someone suggesting that I come to India. While they never said it, it was strongly implied “Come to India and be with me. I’ll support you.”

There are so many things wrong with that idea that I wouldn’t know where to start in explaining why I’m not willing to do it. Beyond that, Vegas is the destination. The destination is not India. Not only would it be tremendously fucked up for me to change the destination and plan now that I’ve gotten donations through the GoFundMe campaign, but it would be horribly stupid to take the word of someone I know through Twitter that there are jobs for me in India.

Vegas was not an arbitrary choice. I know from first-hand experience that Vegas has lots of jobs for me, giving me the power over the employers, not vice versa. See, in Mississippi, the employer chooses between a number of qualified applicants. For someone like me in Vegas, I choose between a number of job offers. That difference in the balance of power is one that should not be overlooked. While in Mississippi, workers are courting employers, the opposite is true for I.T. people in Vegas. I know, because I’ve been there. I’ve seen it, and I’ve experienced it.

Beyond that, this person said that he’s considered weird simply for speaking to a transgender person. Does the fact that I’m trying to escape hostility toward transgender and LGBT people just completely go over people’s heads? Vegas is freaking pro-everything. No one would look twice at a transgender person in Vegas. Vegas is the double whammy, the “killing two birds with one stone” destination–it is anything but arbitrary. It has jobs for me, and it’s pro-LGBT. I know of no other city (except, perhaps, Los Angeles, which is too big a place for a country girl like me) that meets both of those criteria.

I’ve set the initial GoFundMe video to Private, because it didn’t really say what I intended it to say, and it wasn’t an effective video. What spurred this on was someone commenting and saying:

do u have a car? i lived out of my car and now have an apartment move to texas.

Fuck off.

Seriously, what the hell kind of “suggestion” is that?

First of all, Texas? Texas?!

Texas is as hostile to LGBT people as Mississippi, or very nearly so. It may be slightly better, but it’s not much better. And I’m not sure how the job situation really is in Texas, but I know it’s not as good for me as is Las Vegas. I’m an experienced slot technician. Vegas is the casino capital of the world, with lots and lots of slot machines and nowhere near enough people to fix and maintain them. I’m qualified and trained to do that. Just as Silicon Valley as Mecca for computer science majors, so is Vegas Mecca for I.T. people, especially those with slot tech experience. I know how to fix, repair, and maintain slot machines. See why Vegas is the choice?

Secondly, I’ve lived out of my car. I did it last year, not long after I returned to Mississippi, for about a week and a half. That wasn’t the first time I’d been homeless and living out of my car, either. The first time happened when I was 17 years old, when my dad kicked me out the second time, and I was no longer with the girlfriend who I had been able to stay with the first time. I’ve been down that road twice–the first time during a snowy winter, the second time in early June of last year.

I’m trying to make my life better, not make it worse. However much it sucks now (and it does suck), I at least have a roof over my head. I’m sorry that your situation was so bad that you had literally nothing to lose by living out of your car while you saved up money and got a place, but I did that last year, and I have something to lose.

My cats.

A lot of people won’t understand that.

But consider how I clearly have no friends:

At least, not any that matter.

And consider that you know I have no family now.

My cats are all I have. They are my family. They are my friends. And they are coming with me. Just as they went with me to Vegas last time. And they both nearly died last June when living out of my car with me.

During August–go live out of your car in the fucking Mojave Desert!

What a suggestion.

What an absolute piece of shit.

If someone doesn’t want to contribute to the campaign, I understand that. There’s a lot of backstory there to go through, and a lot of people would rather deal with something simpler: “Someone’s house burned down,” “Someone has cancer,” “Someone died and we can’t pay for the funeral.” My issue is complex, and there’s a ton of backstory there that does, honestly, largely excuse me from blame regarding my current situation. For someone to be willing to contribute, they basically have to take in all that background information, and it takes a while. That’s a big problem.


GoFundMe just suspended my campaign for 2-3 days while they inspect it to verify that it’s not set-up to address a legal matter. I’ve contacted them to ask if they’ll include my campaign in the weekly email, as a gesture for totally taking my campaign offline while they realize that it’s got nothing to do with a legal matter.

It’s because I rewrote my description, inspired by the last paragraph I wrote here to be brief and succinct. So I mentioned my dad being arrested for embezzlement, and evidently that triggered their automatic flagging process.


I don’t know how good the chances were that I was about to get a donation, or that I’d get one tonight or tomorrow or the next day, but I know what the chances are now: zero. There is zero chance that someone will donate to my campaign today, tomorrow, or the next day now, because the campaign is currently offline. Even though GFM’s support “responds within 5 minutes,” it takes them 2-3 days to verify that a campaign doesn’t deal with a legal matter.

I would understand if my campaign had just been created. But all I did was edit the description. Fuck, go back to the old description, or let me remove the part about my dad. There are plenty of fucked up things I can say instead of that one.

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