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How Coinbase is Saving the Crypto Market

People like to talk shit about Coinbase. And, in a lot of ways, I get it. They certainly didn’t make it easy for people to retrieve their Bitcoin Cash (much less Bitcoin Gold–which may not be retrievable at all), but at least they’ve done better on that front than Jaxx. But there’s more to it than that. There’s also some elitism, which I also get. I have the same elitism, as a tech person, toward Apple users in general, but especially people with iPhones. I refused to watch Rick & Morty for a long time, simply because it was popular. And people who played Final Fantasy XI absolutely hated World of Warcraft players. There’s this whole “Our thing is more complex and cool than your thing. Our thing is for the hardcore, freaking noobs!” aspect to it. Then there’s the fact that Coinbase holds onto your private keys, but the only people who care about this also know how easy it is to get around–simply send the cryptos to another wallet.

A lot of these types would deny that Coinbase is doing anything good, despite how they are attempting to stand up to the IRS to protect their users from invasion by government goons. The government, predictably, doesn’t like that it has no idea who has crypto and who doesn’t, and the best way to find out that info is to break into Coinbase’s vault, steal their records, and create a database of known crypto users to watch. They’re actively attempting to do this, and Coinbase is attempting to stop it. If I was CEO, I would be preparing to close my U.S. operations and permanently wipe all our data before the U.S. government could get their hands on it. Coinbase is also attempting to bring in huge investors–people who would be dropping millions at a time on crypto purchases, and Coinbase has a phenomenal track record of security and protection.

But there’s one other thing they do that they’re often criticized for, when, in reality, it’s the best thing that they do:

Coinbase is notoriously unwilling to put new coins on its store.

This draws the ire of people who love Ethereum and the seventy-six million different bullshit Ethereum tokens available. I could create an Ethereum token right now if I cared to, and it costs almost nothing to do. Ethereum is a good idea, but there’s no gatekeeper to it, and anyone with a half-baked idea can create an Ethereum token, get some momentum going for it, and land it under dApps in Coinomi’s Ethereum wallet. If that wasn’t enough, there are thousands of entire cryptocurrencies that use their own blockchain and programming, some of them ridiculously niche and with less-than-half-baked concepts behind them.

Take Potcoin, for example. It’s a standard proof-of-stake coin long after Blackcoin proved that Proof of Stake is viable. So what is it? It’s a cryptocurrency that is essentially riding on the fact that it has “pot” in the name to be successful. It wants to be the primary payment method for the legal marijuana industry.

That’s stupid, and the exact opposite of what currencies are supposed to do. An Ethereum token would have been more suitable for this, but no. They went and created a currency. I don’t like the token idea anyway. I’ve long ripped into gaming companies like Microsoft and Nintendo for making you buy 800 Microsoft Points to buy a $10 game, instead of just buying the $10 game. They do this because they sell Microsoft Points in uneven packs. Maybe 1000 or 2000. The goal is for the person to have some “points” left over that are too small in quantity to use, forcing them to either pay more money to bring them up to a usable quantity (there’s nothing on the Microsoft Store for 100 points, after all), or to abandon the remainders as lost forever. This is an insidious way of charging people an extra $2 or $3 here or there, without their realizing it and without their noticing it. It’s a way of nickel and diming customers to death, and gaming companies are really nickel and diming their customers these days, with pre-orders, season passes, digital deluxe editions, Complete Editions, Definitive Editions, Collections, remakes, rereleases, and shitloads of DLC, not all of which is even covered by the season pass that players stupidly pay $30 for. But anyway.

So what they want to do, in effect, is bring that business model to the marijuana industry. There’s no other way to put it. That’s precisely what they want to do. They want to create “tokens” that customers have to use to buy pot. And since it’s Proof of Stake and they’re certainly holding half of that stake, every single purchase gets them more tokens–not to mention often leaving customers with quantities of tokens that can’t be used, just like Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo do. We’ve been down this game before. I play the browser-based game Tribal Wars, and it does exactly the same thing. Due to selling some in-game resources, I ended up with 5 Premium Points that were utterly unusable. This is by design. It is a principle that is built into such systems. They don’t care if you have 0.0002 tokens that you will never, ever be able to use. Actually, they do care, and they want you to end up in that position. Because that’s free money for them.

There are tons of these currencies. Potcoin is just the most obvious example, by trying to frame itself as a token when it’s defined as a currency, setting such a horrifically stupid role for itself, and calling itself “potcoin” on the hope that the stoner crypto people will go “Hur hurr hurr, I want to hold some potcoin! yeah! Pot is awesome!”

There remain to this day people who think the Tool song “The Pot” is about marijuana. In fact, it’s a reference to “the pot calling the kettle black.” Maynard did this on purpose, of course, using lyrics like “You must have been high” throughout the song. For whatever reason, “pot” is a word that gets people to love the thing, presumably still in that high school mentality where it’s cool to be dumb and nothing is cooler than pot.

Let me just whip up Coinomi and look at random coins that I know nothing about:

  • Bitsend
  • Belacoin
  • Britcoin
  • Canada eCoin
  • Cannacoin (with a pot leaf as its logo, naturally–good, we certainly needed two marijuana coins)
  • Digibyte
  • Digitalcoin
  • EDRCoin
  • Feathercoin
  • GCRCoin
  • Hempcoin (ooh, THREE of them!…

You know, finding the third mariuana cryptocurrency just proves my point better than anything I could write, and I don’t think I’m even running the latest version of Coinomi on the phone I’m looking at. This is a disaster waiting to happen. It is classic market oversaturation. We need only look to 1983 and the video game crash of the same year to see exactly how this plays out.

If I cited your coin as a shitcoin above and you feel that this is in error, reach out to me at aria@anarchistshemale.com, and I’ll interview you for my new show, No Gods, No Masters, and we can clear the air. However, the odds are against you. However much you might think otherwise, chances are that yours is a shitcoin. I excuse Blackcoin only because it’s the world’s first 100% Proof of Stake coin, and it has been around now for nearly 4 years. I’ll be surprised if half of these are still here four years from now.

Video game makers and console manufacturers of the 80s did nothing to protect their hardware or their software, which I’m okay with them doing as long as there are no laws against piracy. They have every right to attempt to protect their products from being copied. But we have every right to attempt to bypass that protection. Anyway, what followed was predictable. People began releasing clones of clones of clones of clones of inferior games, and the market was flooded with Pak-Man, Tax Man, Pac-Man, Capman, APacman, and so on, and, in a lot of cases, consumers didn’t know the difference. Like an average person looking at Bitcoin, Bitcoin Cash, Bitsend, Bitcoinplus, Bitcoin Gold, and Bitcore. It confuses them, and I have to think some of this is intentional.

A flood of overhyped, bullshit games called E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial finally broke the camel’s back, but it was a long series of abuses and shitty products that led up to that. Consumers had simply had enough by the time Atari showed its own abject disdain for consumers by releasing that ungodly abomination as a completed game. By that point, they’d already been ripped off by Protector, which was a ripoff of Helper Jet, which was a ripoff of Laser Ship, was a ripoff of Defender. The consumer had already lost hundreds buying shitty games, and the overhyped E.T. was simply the last one–pretty much because it was so hyped (much like Bitcoin is becoming).

Everyday I see ads for “Don’t buy Bitcoin! Look at these 5 cryptos that are certain to pass Bitcoin!!!!!!11!11” bullshit. Have you been to Novacoin lately? They’re closing, but there seemed like thousands of freaking coins on that site, almost all of them junk. You could even see people in the chatroom call them out for being junk and scams. Novacoin and Coinomi’s standards are way too low, evidently.

Coinbase, thank goodness, is acting as the Nintendo of cryptocurrencies. They have tight and rigid standards for cryptos and whether they will or won’t add them, and we should all be on our knees thanking them for this. If Joe Plumber decides he wants to see what “all that thar Bittlecoon stuff is about,” he’s going to google it, and he’ll almost certainly end up on Coinbase. There, he will be introduced to three safe, secure, reliable, non-scam coins: Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Litecoin, in a safe and relatively risk-free environment. He won’t be flooded with a hundred different cryptocurrencies and left feeling like an idiot who picks one at random because he doesn’t want to feel like an idiot and wants to feel like he knows what he’s doing. He’ll see three.

Odds are, he won’t ever hear the words “Hempcoin” or “Belacoin” or “Cannacoin,” and thank God for that. Because most of these shitcoins are going to go under within a year or two, and do you know what would happen if the masses of people poured their money into these shitcoins, and then had the shitcoins vanish?

That’s right: a crash. And an enormous one.

In fact, due to Coinomi, Jaxx, Novacoin, Kraken, etc.’s looser standards, a crash is inevitable. Coinbase is merely delaying it. They can’t prevent it entirely, not when so many people want to create shitcoins that serve no purpose except to scam people out of money and then fade into oblivion because they never had more than a half-baked idea in the first place.

I’m not saying people who genuinely believe in Hempcoin shouldn’t be able to get it, and shouldn’t be able to store it in a wallet. Obviously, I’m not saying that. But I’m saying until your shitcoin has truly proven itself–I’d say that 2 years of survival should be the bare minimum requirement–you should be stuck using a coin-specific wallet.

Oh, look. Orangecoin no longer exists. I’m so surprised.

Buying shitcoins like Orangecoin and Hempcoin simply shouldn’t be so easy that stupid and careless people can do it accidentally. Careless and stupid people exist. We know they do. And if we don’t want government to step in and protect them from the consequences of being careless and stupid, then it’s on us to do so. It’s on Coinbase, Coinomi, Kraken, Novacoin, and Jaxx to do, and Coinbase is the only one stepping up to do it. I’m not saying bail people out. And I’m damned sure not saying let government get involved. In fact, I want you people (whoever is out there making bullshit currencies and bullshit ethereum tokens) to stop doing it so that the government doesn’t get involved. They will. They’ve done it before, man. And “Wah! We lost our money because we couldn’t be bothered to do any research before dropping our life savings into something!” has always been the excuse used for government power grabs. You think they won’t crush Coinbase if they get a good enough excuse? This is stuff that we can’t afford, in the long-run, to allow to happen.

We have to stop this. We have to prevent the crash. This means you, jackasses who made Britcoin, jackasses who made Putincoin, jackasses who made three separate marijuana coins. If you don’t have the self-restraint to not serve out bullshit, then Coinomi, Jaxx, et al. will have to step up and stop you. We need them to, and we need you to go away. And we need to be thankful that Coinbase’s extreme reluctance to add new coins is keeping cryptos accessible and relatively safe for the masses. Because if the ordinary person was presented with Coinomi’s massive list of coins the first time they went to purchase, we’d already have experienced the crash by now.

 

Did Bitcoin Supporters Just Get Played?

I think they did, and I think that it’s entirely possible–even probable–that Shrem and other Segwit2x supporters did it knowingly and intentionally as a way of driving up the value of Bitcoin, selling off, making their announcement, and shifting into Bitcoin Cash, which has already solved the problems that Segwit2x was supposed to partially address. So let me give you the rundown of what I’m thinking.

I noticed a few weeks ago that Bitcoin.Com wrote an article saying that they would refer to the Segwit2x chain as “B2x” and the other chain as “Bitcoin.” This makes sense, really, though I did take note of it at the time, because just a few days later, a phrase started appearing regularly in their articles in regard to Bitcoin Cash: “the REAL Bitcoin.”

Over and over again for the last month, Bitcoin.com referred to Bitcoin Cash as “the real Bitcoin,” and even went as far as writing an article and including a diagram about how Bitcoin Cash is the most uninterrupted continuation of the Bitcoin blockchain. I found this very odd, especially given all the controversy around Segwit2x and Core, that this major Bitcoin site–the one who owned Bitcoin.com for fuck’s sake–would suddenly start bashing the two major Bitcoins in favor of this offshoot that had existed for months with very little support. In fact, I’m almost certain that I recall reading an October article from them about how Bitcoin Cash was doomed to failure because it lacked support.

Something weird has happened, my friends, and, if I was a statist, I would probably be calling for investigations of fraud. And if Shrem (whose first name I don’t recall) sold even one hundredth of a Bitcoin before he made his announcement about the cancellation of S2X, then I think fraud is almost certain, so let’s refer to a few facts.

  • Regardless of where one stood on the matter, the New York Agreement never came close to a genuine consensus, as notable people were not invited at all, and, among those who were, it was not even possible to bring in 100% of the Bitcoin user base, the only way a consensus can truly be taken.
  • Despite this ambiguity, the “unanimous agreement” of the Segwit2x agreement was touted for months. Segwit was implemented, at which point Core and others, in a perhaps related venture, pulled out of the 2x part.
  • Bitcoin.com released its naming conventions for the coins as “Bitcoin2x” and “Bitcoin.”
  • Bitcoin.com began calling Bitcoin Cash “the real Bitcoin.”
  • Despite the rising contentiousness of the fork, Segwit2x proponents–among them Shrem–continued stating up until about a week ago that the fork would go ahead as planned, because “the community” had spoken and had agreed to implement the upgrade.
  • Seeing as this is the cryptocurrency equivalent of a stock split, lots and lots of people got into Bitcoin, driving the values up to record levels. It peaked at $8,000 at one point, and there is no doubt among crypto users that fork hype was the reason why. Whatever Bitcoin you had at the time of the fork would effectively be doubled–just in different currencies. One of these could easily and quickly be sold off, or converted into something stable like Ethereum. This is what I intended to do to both, in fact, using Shapeshift or Changelly–send one Bitcoin into Ethereum and the other into Litecoin. That way, it became irrelevant to me which was successful. Lots and lots and lots and lots of people who otherwise avoid Bitcoin (evidently I’m not alone in this regard) did the same.
  • Then, with Bitcoin basically at its peak, Shrem took to the world to announce that the fork was cancelled.
  • Immedate sell-offs began, because all of these people like me who just wanted in for the fork wanted back out, into our preferred cryptos (for me, Litecoin, Ethereum, and Blackcoin).

My Tentative Accusation

Elements within the Bitcoin community laid the groundwork for Bitcoin Cash to replace Bitcoin altogether, both Bitcoin and Bitcoin2x. I have no idea if the information can be gained or not, but I would be extremely fascinated to learn which S2X major players sold off Bitcoin before or shortly after the announcement, and I would throw a red flag on the play if even a single one of them converted 0.00001 BTC into Bitcoin Cash.

I’m not accusing anyone of anything, not really. I’m just saying that it’s all very, very suspicious. Given that Bitcoin Cash had already solved the problems that Bitcoin2x was supposed to partially solve, it’s not hard to see a connection between the two cryptos. Let’s face it: Bitcoin Cash’s main features at this point are that it’s the most uninterrupted Bitcoin blockchain, and that it already handled blocksize increases (up to 8 MB, instead of Segwit2x’s 2MB), and significantly lowered transaction fees in the process. These are the biggest problems Bitcoin faces.

These people who openly admitted to supporting a way of partially solving these problems with S2X cancelled at the last minute, while others were literally laying the groundwork for Bitcoin Cash to become accepted as “the real Bitcoin.” I don’t know, man. That’s fishy as hell. And I’m out 0.015 Bitcoin–which is a lot of money for me, honestly, it is… It’s taken me about 3 months to put that much money into cryptocurrencies–because of it. Not only that, but if I ever do get my Bitcoin back (see my coinomi complaint below), Bitcoin has fallen so much and BCH climbed so much that I won’t get anywhere near the BCH that I should have gotten if this shit went through yesterday. So what am I really out? Right now, 0.15 Bitcoin and 0.1 Bitcoin Cash. That’s pocket change to some people, but for me it’s my savings. It’s money that I can afford to lose, but it’s all my savings. And the reasons for this are two-fold: the cancellation of S2X and Coinomi’s failure to manage transaction fees as any ordinary user would expect them to.

Which brings me to a complaint I have to level at Coinomi.

Coinomi

I’m a pretty smart chick, you know? I saw the writing on the wall almost as soon as I woke up yesterday morning and looked into what had been going on. So what did I do? I immediately attempted to use Changelly to shift my Bitcoin back into Litecoin and Ethereum, and stated openly that, after doing so, I was going to shapeshift/changelly half of the ETH and half of the LTC into Bitcoin Cash. If I had done this, I would have gained more than $200 in the last 24 hours. This is why it has me so angry. $200 is a lot of money to me. As it is, because of this fuckup with Coinomi, I was forced to convert my Blackcoin into Bitcoin Cash (only $44 of it), which still has gained me $10, allowed me to purchase 0.01 LTC, and allowed me to rebuy 9 Blackcoin (I have no intention of getting out of Blackcoin–being the world’s first 100% proof of stake coin, I have very high hopes for it).

We normal people use Coinomi because we don’t want to calculate mileage and transaction fees. That’s one of the main freaking appeals of using these multi-currency wallets, in fact. They do all that background stuff for us. If I wanted to do that, i would exclusively use Parity (which I use for Ethereum to some degree, and, obviously, for Airswap Tokens). I don’t want to look up the current average mileage fees, calculate them, and do that work. No one does. That’s why we use these apps.

The last thing I ever expected was that Coinomi would use a Bitcoin transaction fee with its built-in Changelly function that was so low that the transaction would go unconfirmed for more than 24 hours. At the time of writing, the transactions are still unconfirmed, and the Bitcoin network is more congested than ever. There’s no chance the transactions are going to be confirmed. At best, it will take months. My only hope is to download the Bitcoin -QT software, sweep the wallet, and double spend them. This requires downloading the 200 GB blockchain, which I’ve got someone doing for me. But, even then, this might take days to complete. Keeping in mind that I’ve already missed out on doubling my money because of this, how much will I have missed out on by the time I finally get my Bitcoin back? Fuck, man, at least Coinbase automatically cancels unconfirmed transactions after 24 hours! The evil Coinbase!

I even considered contacting John McAfee and asking him to use his miners to confirm the transactions, but I doubt that he actually has 12 independent ones that can do it, even as a favor to me, this chick that he has never met and doesn’t know. I’ve contacted Coinomi support, and they should get back to me “within the next 24 hours.” By then, I expect BItcoin Cash will be over $2000, and I’ll have lost out on even more money. And that’s if they can help me resolve the issue right then and there, which is exceedingly unlikely. They’ll ask me more questions, and then tell me there is nothing they can do about it and send me a bunch of links to information that I’ve already read.

We’re talking a lot of money here–at least for me. And there’s presently nothing I can do about it, because my Bitcoin is lost in the ether, probably never to be confirmed. Double spending is the only option, and the Coinomi app intentionally prevents that (most apps do). I’m hoping they have some sort of override, can take control of my phone directly, and use some developer commands to force the app to allow doublespending. If not, my only hope may be to decompile the software and have a friend go through it and see if he can modify it in a way that would allow doublespending. See how grave this problem is? And it’s not my fault. It’s Coinomi’s fault. Sure, if you go to their website–their website for this app that only supports mobile devices in other words why in the world would you ever go to their website–they will tell you to make sure to increase your transaction fees when processing things for Shapeshift and Changelly, but that’s buried in their site. And no one will even go to look for that until they have already had this happen.

And I’m a tech person! I can’t imagine what a non-tech person would do if faced with this.

This sort of thing has to be worked out for cryptocurrencies to survive. Yes, the blockchain must be immutable, but there must be some changes to the code that allow for transactions to be cancelled and removed from the cloud if they aren’t confirmed even once after 24 hours.